One day in microeconomics, the professor was writing up the typical “underlying assumptions” in preparation to explain a new model. I turned to my friend and asked, “What would Economics be without assumptions?” He thought for a moment, then replied, “Accounting.”

An Indian Accountant’s Theory of Reincarnation – if you are a good accountant, virtuous accountant, then you are reborn as an engineer. But if you are evil, wicked accountant, you are reborn as a psychologist.

A science graduate asks, “Why does it work?” An engineering graduate asks, “How does it work?” An accounting graduate asks, “How much it costs?” A humanity graduate asks, “Do you want fries with that, Sir?”

While waiting to board a plane in a small airport, a ticket agent said on the paging system: “Would the accountant who dropped his pants please return to the ticket counter.”  After a slight pause, the same voice added, “The pants were on a hanger!”

An auditor is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.  “Doctor, I just can’t get sleep at night.”
“Have you tried counting sheep?”
“That’s the problem – I make a mistake and then spend many hours trying to find it.”